The Wellspring

The most fundamental interpersonal skill one can have is the ability to communicate efficiently and effectively. In an age of email and SMS, there are more opportunities than ever to make mistakes. And yet while some are very obvious, others are less so. Here are my top five oft-overlooked communication errors:

Being verbose
The aim of communication is to convey a message, and most times, you want to do this as quickly and clearly as possible. Especially when space or time is scarce (I’m thinking voicemail messages, emails, most business correspondence and - of special note - funding applications), you want to be concise. Showing off your language skills or intelligence or waffling on anything irrelevant impresses no one - it just annoys them. Learn how to pitch an idea or concept quickly and clearly, and how to structure text so it’s easily read and understood - it’ll be worth your while.

Choosing the wrong medium
Certain messages and interactions work better using specific media. A request for a file would probably be best sent via email, making it easier for the person to email you back with the file from his or her computer. Simple notifications are fine for SMS, while open-ended questions and statements of significance (’Hi, how are you?’ or ‘I don’t think we’re working out’) are not. Telephone often works well for questions requiring an immediate response to a simple question (’Can we reschedule the meeting for Thursday?’) but is probably inappropriate outside of business hours, or if the person has specifically stated that they prefer email correspondence, as is increasingly the case. Giving some thought to the medium best suited for the task makes everyone’s job a little easier. (Hint: if you’re having trouble deciding, think of which form you’d most appreciate a response in.)

Not replying to others
When people request something from another, it usually indicates that they trust the person to be able to help them out. Unless you’ve got a good reason not to (the request was totally unsolicited and incorrectly targeted, you’re exceptionally busy, they’ve ignored your instructions to communicate to you in a certain fashion, etc) you should get back to them as soon as practicably possible. Obviously, this is especially important if you’ve indicated that you will get back to them by a certain time. Lots of email can be answered in less than two minutes per message. (And if you expect delays, you can always quickly write a response letting the inquirer know of the situation.) Being responsive to the requests of others is professional, indicates respect for the inquirer, and builds your credibility as a go-to-guy/gal.

Not including the appropriate people in the discussion
The decision as to who to include in a discussion has wider ramifications than what you might initially think. Deciding not to include someone is to effectively judge that they are not entitled to a stake in the decision and that they would not be willing or able to contribute. An incorrect decision here can signal disloyalty, mistrust, conspiracy - which can ruin a relationship. This is especially true if you are aware that someone has professed an interest in a particular issue.

That’s not to say that everyone has to be brought on at once and from the beginning, but that interested parties should be informed and invited to participate in the discussion’s formative stages. Think carefully!

Refusing to apologise
Your mother probably told you that one should apologise when one has done something wrong. She was right. You might think that ignoring peccadilloes has the effect of drawing less attention to them - well, maybe - but probably not. People have an uncanny ability to sense and remember injustice, so accepting responsibility, apologising and moving on unencumbered is probably well worth it. Not to mention the right thing to do.

By the same token, saying thank you is nice, too!